Losing 15 pounds post 2

I need a moment to vent.

We all do. I believe it’s good for the soul…

I was just at 7-11 and wanted a soda but since I quit Diet Coke, I knew a Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper was going to be full of unwanted sugar and calories and carbs. So I talked myself out of it, (literally, right there in front of the soda machine,) and moved on.

Then, I came home to make myself a late breakfast. I took out the sourdough bread and realized I’ll be having bread later when I have dinner with my family, ugh…. so I break one piece in half and only put one of those halves in the toaster.

I know these decisions are going to help me in the long run. I know this.

But it doesn’t make them any easier. I really wanted that soda and my over medium egg just isn’t the same without a couple slices of toast…

BUT I didn’t give in. 

I did, however, take to my blog to vent. And there’s nothing unhealthy in that!

Thank you all…

#losingfifteenpoundsdamnit

 

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Losing 15 pounds post 1

Okay, it’s been a couple days since my very public proclamation about losing weight. And even though it’s been a mere 48 hours, I’ve already made some difficult choices and learned some important lessons.

But it’s only the beginning.

So, I thought I’d do what I often like to do with my travel posts and list some of my observations thus far, on this journey of weight loss:

Looking at the scale should not be a daily thing right now. The focus is on change and that damn thing only brings me down so I’m stepping off it for two weeks…

I can go without bread and not perish. I like my bread like a baby likes her bottle. Maybe it’s the Sicilian in me but bread has always been included in the meal. This habit of mine though is already being broken. I literally just ordered a grilled chicken taco without the tortilla (and you know what, it’s still delicious!)

Challenging yourself is awesome once you do it. Although I’ve been doing power yoga twice a week for quite a while it was only this past Tuesday that I decided to step it up a notch. I do the extra challenges my instructor offers and I try to stay in the more difficult poses for longer than I ever have… (It feels tiring, yes, but also great!)

Eating healthy will not be easy. There’s a reason “convenient” and “fast” food is typically not good for you. I’ve learned time has to be given to one’s diet if they want to be healthy. But I do believe it’s about finding a balance that works for you between what you have to get done and the time given to what you put in your body.

The support I’ve received from you, my readers, has already been incredibly helpful. From the likes to the social media props, from direct messages to pats on the back, I channel it all to keep me going and deeply appreciate it.

Thank you.

May we all help each other on our weight loss journeys. I’d love to hear more about your own…

#losingfifteenpoundsdamnit

I want to lose 15 pounds

I was one of those fortunate people who never had to think about their weight while growing up and entering adulthood.

I was 105 pounds from pretty much 16 to 33 years of age.

I say this because when I entered my early 30’s, I was placed on a medication to help me deal with my extreme case of OCD (not just talking about washing your hands more than normal here…), and my body changed. My doctor told me that the meds might make me gain weight, as it was a common side effect.

And, boy did they.

Add that to fact that as I aged, I found myself drinking more wine and eating more food than I ever had and that certainly didn’t help my body weight. Coupled with my body getting older and beginning menopause (yes, I know I’m only 40 but it’s already happening to me so… so be it,) I did not expect to look at a picture of myself and see someone that didn’t even look like me.

But that’s what happened a few days ago…

Bottom line is my body doesn’t even feel like my own anymore and it’s time I do something about that.

You, my blog readers, have been insanely helpful when I quit Diet Coke, which btw I am still going strong on! It’s been almost five months since I’ve touched the stuff and I feel great. So… I thought I would write this very personal info on my site, put it out in the world so I could be held accountable, and take you all along for the ride with me.

My plan is to lose fifteen to twenty pounds, to put me around 120, which is the weight I want to be. Everyone has to be comfortable with themselves. That is what works for me. When I was 105, I was too thin. (I should mention I’m 5’6.) But right now, at 138, I don’t even feel like myself.

So I invite you to join me as I try to navigate losing weight while being healthy and active about it.

I thought I would start with severely limiting my carbs because when I sat down to study my eating habits, I realized carbs were not only the star of the show, but also the opening acts, ticket takers and audience. In other words, it was the whole show.

Carbs are WAY toooooo big in my life. And I mean the processed, unhealthy kinds. Candy, chips, bread, white rice, crackers, snack bars…

So, first things first. I am limiting them. I am taking the first step.

And I have a feeling I will not be thrilled about this initially, just like I wasn’t about quitting Diet Coke, but no pain, no gain.

And away we goooooo!

Stay tuned….

#losingfifteenpoundsdamnit

 

 

My phone shatterd and all hell broke loose

Okay, I’m exaggerating. Kinda.

I would bet good money that I am among many people whose lives are attached to their phones. And when said phone gets broken or goes missing, life as we know it changes greatly.

I hate to admit it but I couldn’t even remember my husband’s phone number. When I dropped my phone, I was at my restaurant job and he was expecting me to pick up dinner. Only thing is, I always shoot him a text to confirm what he wants and what time I’m leaving.

I panicked. Crap. I couldn’t even call him from the main restaurant line because I didn’t flippin’ remember his number.

Ask me what my parent’s home number of yesteryear was and I can tell you in a minute. That was a number I had to memorize – 818-906-8651 – because there were no cell phones yet. I haven’t used that number in almost twenty years but there it was, on the tip of my tongue, which makes me wonder – do we retain much less these days with the ease of smart phones, the internet and AI?

Being away from my laptop, I couldn’t do simple things that most take for granted these days, like checking traffic or emails. Does anyone remember the days that when you left your house, you couldn’t be gotten ahold of? (Picture above is a throwback to that time period…) I reminisced for those days recently when a co-worker was trying to contact me and used several methods because I hadn’t answered within an hour. 

When did immediate response become so expected?

Not having my phone for twenty hours was not fun but it also made me realize how damn dependent I am on it, and others in my life for that matter, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Technology should aid us, but not hinder us, right? Are we using it correctly? I’m starting to wonder as I read about COMPUTERS talking to one another without human prompt….

Perhaps we are getting carried away with technology and need to start reigning ourselves in… what say you?

 

Quitting Diet Coke 3.10

I completely understand how an addict falls off the wagon. It’s incredibly easy to do.

I haven’t had a Diet Coke in approx. four months and today, I was grabbing a quick snack on the way to a meeting and thought to myself, “Why not have a Diet Coke? It’s been so long, you can have it. After all, you’ve shown you can go without. What would one do?”

Sure, Christina. That’s what a junkie tells themself.

Though this little narrative in my head was doing its best to convince me just one wouldn’t do anything, I repeatedly told it to shut the f*ck up!

And I didn’t drink any.

The cravings may come and go much less than they have in the past but they’re still there and no matter how much I want to convince myself otherwise, I know I am an addict and “just one” will lead to another, and another and before you know it, I’m back on a 2-Liter a day.

Sigh.

Will it ever get easier?

I now get why meetings become a part of an addict’s daily life. It’s way too easy to deny one has a problem after they’ve quit for a while. The inner demons will try to negotiate with the inner angels and convince them just one won’t do anything.

Well, Devil, I didn’t dance with you today and I’m not gonna, so STEP THE F’ OFF.

116 days and counting..

#quittingdietcoke

 

(photo via Pexels.com)

 

 

This is marriage

I wrote a post titled “This Is Marriage” shortly after I married my husband. It was about a bad dream turning into a beautiful reality. I had several people mention it as one of their favorites and the topic stayed in my head.

I find every day is not going to be extraordinary. Some days will be bad. Some happy. Some sad and etc. Most will warp into each other, making a week feel like one long day. But among those forgettable one’s, will be days that leave a lasting effect on you and I had one of those recently.

A few days back, a co-worker/friend and I were chatting about marriage and making things work between two people with different needs.

Isn’t that every marriage, when it comes right down to the nitty gritty? Marriage is a beautiful commitment between two people but it doesn’t make them clones of each other. They’re still two individuals, with individual needs and wants of their own.

Perhaps that is the hardest part of combining one’s life with another. Unless you are replicas of one another, chances are you will be different from your significant other, at least in some ways.

And that’s okay.

I’ve found, however, many times one person in the relationship will take a back seat to the other one, who makes louder demands or wants. Regardless though, the differences are still there; they’re just buried or ignored.

Then there are other relationships where both want to maintain a level of individuality within their marriage. This doesn’t mean you think of yourself as one without the other but rather means it’s okay to be different. No one has to prevail.

For example, I need a lot of alone time (yeah I know, I’ve mentioned it before…) When my husband and I first married, this was a tricky one. He liked to be together when we were home and didn’t care much to be alone. I, on the other hand, thrived on it. At first, we argued. It got personal. Feelings were hurt, words were said.

But then, over time, he learned this was part of who his wife was at her core. Friends and family let him in on how much I liked to be alone. He realized I lived alone for seven years and thoroughly enjoyed it and he began to make sense about why I like alone time and learned it had nothing to do with him. That took courage and confidence…

And you know what? Over time, I noticed he started to know when I needed this alone time (after a restaurant shift, for one!) and now, gives it freely, without me even asking.

When my friend and I were chatting, this realization came to me and I nearly lost my breath.

On the flipside, I’ve learned a thing or two also, like how my significant other does not like to be asked indirect questions. Whenever I would ask a question as a statement, it would make his blood boil. And damn, I realize why! That is not how you talk to someone you love.

Another example: my husband likes to keep the blinds closed while I like the sunlight to blare right on in. But who’s right? Neither, really, as each is entitled to their preference. But we learned each other. When I’m not downstairs and he is, there’s no reason those blinds need to be open and when I’m downstairs, I open them with the understanding that if he enters, a few will be closing so we can each have a little of what we like.

Marriage is not about becoming one another. It’s not about taking the backseat to another. Or “sucking it up.”

It’s about communication. It’s about understanding. Being honest with one another about one’s needs.

Perhaps though, most importantly, it’s about the desire to learn each other.

This does not come overnight though. My husband and I had to learn how to learn each other. It took time and patience. But most importantly, as my lovely co-worker explained, it took the desire to do it.

And that is marriage.

The desire to learn about each other and adjust oneself accordingly in an effort to make a better future together.

#thisismarriage

 

 

My first concert

The year was 1994. I was sixteen years old and had been immersing myself in music – cassettes at the time were the big thing. CDs were around but hadn’t yet caught on enough to knock out tapes. We all owned portable tape decks. The sporty yellow ones were really cool at the time.

Today, I was transported back to that time period because Dolores O’Riordan, lead singer of The Cranberries, died suddenly at the young age of 46.

She was my very first concert ever, where she was lead singer and guitarist for The Cranberries and they had just released their album No Need To Argue.

I’d venture to bet most people remember their first live music concert.

Mine was magical. The band played at a venue in Los Angeles that wasn’t incredibly large so there weren’t many “bad seats.”

The night was dark – it may have even rained earlier – and a friend and I had parked my Toyota Tercel in the over-priced parking lot before heading inside.

I vividly recall the energy of the room. I have no memory who opened for them but I do remember when The Cranberries took the stage, the crowd jumped to their feet and the room was captivated. The walls pulsed from the original rock music we all were witnessing. Dolores and band did not fail to deliver.

In hindsight, I realize why I liked her so much. She wasn’t like everyone else. She sang about the voices in our heads and looked the way she wanted to. She was so cool to me.

It’s incredible how music can transport us back in time.

Perhaps the power of memory is magnified when music is involved because there is definitely something about it that can stir the soul deep down, getting to a place not much else can.

As I watched the clip below of The Cranberries performing on Dave Letterman’s show, only a few months after I saw them live in 1994, I found myself not only taken back in time but also profoundly moved. Dolores’s voice had helped me through dark teenage times and was a source of enjoyment during a time period I didn’t much enjoy. (I didn’t care for highschool…)

Thank you, Dolores, and The Cranberries, for being a large part of the happiness of my youth. You’ve since remained a classic album among my favorites of favorites.

May you RIP.

The Cranberries on Letterman 1994

#thecranberries #doloresoriordan