Passive Aggressiveness

One of the largest wastes of time is a little something called passive aggressiveness, which I define (with the help of my Apple dictionary) as an intentional indirect behavior done to avoid a confrontation. An example of such would be “the silent treatment.” I write that it’s a waste of time because how could it accomplish anything meaningful if one is indirect and trying to avoid the reality of the situation? Now if you are three years old, I understand you entertaining passive aggression as an option but I say, once you’re able to dress yourself, leave the passive aggressiveness behind you because all it does is display your immaturity and lack of a backbone to say what’s really on your mind.

I believe I’m a direct person but it’s not with an intention to be mean but to simply be truthful and not waste someone’s time or my own. Sure, I’ve done my fair share of passive aggressive behavior, which is why I feel I am qualified to write about this topic, but here’s the bottom line I’ve deduced:

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

I hate to be the one to tell you this but you could be hit by a bus tomorrow and no longer be living. Do you really want to go out with pouting about something when likely the person you were pouting around barely noticed or if they did, chose to ignore it? Why not just say what’s on your mind, how you really feel and if you have a problem with something or someone, you communicate it clearly. Drop the innuendo, the cold shoulder, the random attempts to “get back” at someone. How about just deal with it, confront it, and move on. Aren’t there so many other things to do with one’s time?

Now, there’s a special ingredient in this recipe of directness and open communication that will either make the dish a success or not. And that’s something called

TACT

Once again, using my lovely Apple computer to help me be specific, Apple defines this as ” adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.” And I think the lack of this is what gives directness a bad name.

But with it, life moves along much less complicated, much less confusing and much less annoying. If you are partaking in passive aggressive behavior because you don’t want to know or deal with the truth but still are hoping this will change something or someone, ask yourself, who are you really being passive to? You or them?

But we are all individuals that need to decide how to live our lives and if passive aggression is your thing, so be it, carry on. But for those who don’t partake or try not to, here’s a handy formula:

directness with tact = truth & more time for other things

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