Okay, I’m single, and have been for quite some time now. By choice mostly… but that’s another story. I know that many will say friendships have to take a backseat when their friend finds their significant other. I get that. I’m not the one my friends are going to commit their life to, be executor of their will, have their children. So, yes, fine. But does that mean friendship is not existent if your friend marries or finds the love of their life?
No, I don’t think so. And when I do find that one, and hopefully I will, my close friends are going to be just as important to me still. They are part of my family and I don’t take that lightly.
Now, I’ve been through having friends determine friendship isn’t that important, especially if I disagree with their choice in their significant other. But I’ve learned that it’s their choice to make, not mine, and whether I agree or disagree, it will likely not matter nor should it I suppose, so even if all I really want is for my friend to be as happy as possible, I can’t be the one to decide who or what will make them happy. They need to decide that for themselves and I need to keep my mouth shut unless otherwise asked. (But chances are, they know how I feel because inside they see it too but will deny it so they will definitely NOT ask me, at least from my experience this seems to be the case…)
Anyway, I bring this up because I’ve been fortunate enough to have some great friends in my life. Those who will tell me when I’ve been an asshole or ridiculous or on the flip side, when I’ve been amazing and inspirational.
This past weekend, I hung out with two of my close friends (on different evenings.) One, who has been a friend of mine since I was eighteen and the other, who has been a friend of mine for eight years or so. And both of whom treat me with the utmost respect and who I really like being around. They’ve taught me what it means to be a good friend and I’ll be honest, I haven’t always been that. I’m not sure I really knew what that was when I was in my early twenties. But I do now and I’ve been fortunate to have these women in my life who not only show me that friendship isn’t something to be scared of or run from or feel the need to be defensive toward. It’s something beautiful, special and meaningful.
Nicole and Tina. I love you. Thank you, both, for not only being my friend but allowing me into your lives when I know they are very full and for making me a part of them, because you truly want to. (And Jamie, I know we didn’t see each other this weekend but I know how much you love me and I love you too!)
Friendships. True friendships.
They can be just as meaningful as family.