I had a dream a few nights back that has not left me. Its simplicity in message was like a slap to my face. And I needed it. It was as though my subconscious looked my conscious in the eyes and charged full steam ahead.
Well… my subconscious won. But before I tell the dream, here’s some back-story…
I’ve been a bit down lately because my latest film “Your Move” has yet to play a festival. My confidence has taken a hit. And while I try to remind myself that when I made the all-or-nothing choice of being a filmmaker I accepted rejection, I still struggle with it. And lately, the struggle has been at an all-time high because though I love all my films, I applied everything I learned from them to this one and I feel it deserves to be shown in front of an audience. Alas, it has not though, except for my cast and crew screening which was one of the best nights of my life. But I digress…and there’s more.
While I’m feeling this way about my filmmaking, I also happen to meet a boy whom I really like. He makes me really happy, just being around him and though I feel like I know him, it’s also super exciting learning about him. But, as my readers know, relationships do not come easy for me so I’m struggling. BUT, I have jumped in, sink or swim. Perhaps this dream was trying to help me to not feel so scared about it.
Okay. I had a dream.
And in this dream I was hanging out with some friends but no one in particular whom I can remember. And we were in a place that was very high up and some people where jumping over a cliff and landing in these holes before they reached the ground. Some in my dream thought it was crazy but others were excited and enthusiastically jumping right over the edge. I was on the fence about it, should I? Shouldn’t I? I was worried. But then, I turned to my friend (?) and simply said “I’m going to do it.” We had to weave through people to get to the cliff but once there, I talked myself into it. Pretty much by saying over and over again, “Just do it.” (or something to that effect.) So, I took a deep breath, (I know, cliché, but I really remember doing this in the dream,) and I leaped over the cliff…
I went down in slow motion and made it into the hole. I landed on the ground with both feet (and I swear to God, this image is so crystal clear in my mind that I really wish I could draw.) Not a scratch was on me. I felt great. Then…
I woke up. And I’m pretty sure I had a smile on my face.
I think my subconscious took care of my conscious here and it’s really nice to know it’s looking out for its twin.