dust settles after the euphoria

Two days ago, I got engaged to the man I’ve been with for over two years. I have absolutely no doubt that he’s the one.

I searched for years. And years. And years. And then on labor day 2012, I met him in Manhattan Beach around dusk after meeting online (yes, it can work!!) Parking had been a nightmare and I was about ten minutes late. He was patient about it and as I walked in a rush up to the pre-selected coffee shop, I saw him sitting on a ledge outside it, waiting for me.

He stood up.  I smiled. Instant attraction. At least on my part, I suppose he’ll have tell you how he felt. His smile was infectious. I wanted to be around it. And to this day, his smile is maybe the one thing on this earth that makes me feel truly at home.

We walked for miles that day, around the beaches and streets of what I later learned was his favorite place on earth, the beautiful ocean side town of Manhattan Beach. As the sun set, we decided to get a drink at a bar that overlooked the Pacific Ocean. Normally, we’d both want to face the view, but that day, neither one of us seemed to notice it as we sat side by side on a couch in the corner and talked for a long while.

He walked me to my car a bit later and told me he had fun and that he wanted to do it again. I immediately loved his honesty and vulnerability. I didn’t allow myself to be that vulnerable though. I said sure, yeah (even though I wanted to see him the next hour…) Have I mentioned he makes me want to be a better person?

He called me the next day. And ever since then, we haven’t been apart.

Now that the dust has settled and the initial state of euphoria has subsided, there’s a lot of decisions to be made about a wedding and everything that entails and costs… It’s rather overwhelming. What does a dream wedding even mean? It’s just a day. As many people have said before me, it’s the marriage that matters, not the wedding.

Today, as my mind reeled with thoughts on what to do and how to get married and what that all means to myself and future husband since I can’t tell you how many people have given me their opinions and suggestions on the matter, I opened my laptop when out slipped a piece of paper with the words “I love you” on it. From the man who’s going to be my husband.

It’s the love that matters.

Euphoria comes and goes. And after the dust settles, it’s about what is real. And it’s there I’ll find any answers I’m looking for…

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